The Silent Shift. When “Equality” Stopped Being Equal.

⏳ 3 Minutes Read • Gender Imbalances

Photo: Freepik

Kumekuwa na kitu wasee wengi wanahisi chini ya maji… but hawasemi. Kuna changes fulani, tension fulani, na narrative imeanza ku-rotate. Na mostly iko against the boy–child.

Na ukijaribu kuongelea hii issue, especially kama wewe ni mwanaume, unajikuta unaitwa majina, unakuwa misunderstood, ama unakuwa tu dismissed as if sio kitu ya maana.

Lakini leo tuongee tu ukweli vile iko... maturely na respectfully, in a way that hakuna mtu atakuwa attacked or something.

Because hizi conversations za gender zilikuwa meant kutuleta pamoja — sio kutugawanya.

When “Equality” Actually Turned Into a Tug–Of–War

Originally, purpose ya gender advocacy ilikuwa simple:

Equality. Balance. Fairness.

Lakini polepole, mambo ilianza ku-shift.

Sio kila mahali, sio kila mtu, but narrative ilienda from harmony to competition — a silent battle between genders instead of unity.

It's not about equality anymore…saa hii imekuwa more of power shift.

Once again, mimi siattack mtu — napoint out ile reality wasee wengi huogopa kusema.

Take a look at a case kama Gender Based Violence...GBV ni issue real. Inaharibu familia, relationships, childhoods, na futures.

Lakini hapa ndio the most sensitive part: campaigns nyingi za GBV zimekuwa female-centered kuliko gender-centered. Like, everytime kuna such narrative, mostly women hukuwa perceived as victims, na wanaume tunakuwa perceived as perpetrators. Na mara nyingi utapata kuna generalization... Yaani, ile assumption that “all men are violent.”

Hii ni dangerous juu inafanya wale innocent waonekane wabaya pia.

Na mwanaume akijaribu kuongea juu ya:

👉🏿male victims,

👉🏿boychild wenye wamegrow kwa violence,

👉🏿wasee wana-go through emotional abuse,

👉🏿trauma yenye wanaume pia hupitia…

Suddenly the room goes silent.

Na most of the time anaambiwa:

“Hii si platform yako.”

Or worse, utaonekana ni kama unajaribu ku-undermine women.

           

---

                        [Advertisement]

Download MyAirtel App

---

Lakini kuelewa shida za wanaume sio kumaanisha una-undermine wanawake, ama kusema wewe ni anti-woman. Naah !

Ni ku-acknowledge truth ya human experience.

Tunaweza hold both truths:

✓ wanawake hupitia violence,

✓ wanaume pia hupitia violence.

Na wote wanastahili kusikizwa.

And Then, There's The Modern Toxic Feminism... NO OFFENSE !!

First things first, kuna two types of feminism. Traditional (Initial, real, authentic) na modern (usually toxic)...

Traditional Feminism haijawai kuwa shida.

Infact individuals wengi hu-support.

Lakini ile version ingine, especially online and mostly algorithm–driven? Ile ya:

male-bashing memes,

blanket generalization statements,

“men are trash” jokes,

clout feminism?... And so on.

Truly speaking, hiyo si empowerment.

Hiyo ni toxicity in form of activism.

Inafanya genders zikuwe divided instead of united. Ina-create chuki fulani between genders. Na pia ina-endorse competition badala ya collaborations.

And here's the irony?

Statistics zinaonyesha hata madem kadhaa hawapendi hii version — since it doesn't represent them all.

Girl-Child Empowerment vs Boy-Child Neglect

Women empowerment ni poa, na ni necessary. Lakini pia kwa hiyo tu same excitement, society ilisahau kitu moja. Huwezi jenga group moja kwa ku-ignore ingine.

These days, madem wako na mentorship programs mingi sana. Scholarships. Community drives. Media narratives. Events... You name it.

Meanwhile, boychild anaambiwa:

“be strong”...“Jipange.”

“Men don’t cry.”

“You'll figure things out...”

And what happens? Most boys hugrow up wakiwa emotionally confused, alafu wakishakuwa adults wako broken already.

And the same society ita-turn around na iseme:

“Men are the problem.”

But how do you blame a tree you never watered? 🤨

The “Misogyny” Label, Men Can't Just Speak Anymore 

Mwanaume akijaribu kuongea, maybe kuhusu vile anafeel, venye society inam-affect, what scares him, male struggles…

Kuna risk ya kuambiwa yeye ni misogynistic.

So, most men prefer kukanyagia hizi zote chini ya maji. Alafu society still inawacriticize kwa hiyo hiyo silence.

So, kwa mabro hapa nje:

Wewe ni muhimu. Voice yako ni muhimu.

Struggles zako ni real. Feelings zako si aibu. Na pain yako ni valid.

Hauko peke yako. Na wewe si burden.

Wewe si villain ya story ya society.

Familia yako ya kesho inakuhitaji.

Dreams zako zinakuhitaji.

Future yako haiwezi stand bila wewe.

All We need is Balance — Sio Team A vs Team B

Photo: Freepik

Goal si kuinua wanaume na kupush down wanawake. Na pia sio kuinua madem na ku-ignore wanaume. 

End goal ni mutual respect, honest convos na emotional safety kwa genders zote.

Dignity kwa kila mtu.

Wanaume na wanawake tunaweza build each other. Tunaweza heal pamoja.

Tunaweza kuwa woke pamoja.

A Healthy Narrative Moving Forward...

Kama society inataka real progress, lazima ikuwe ready kuempower both genders.

A balanced society ndio healthy society.

Conversations kama hizi zinahitaji honesty. Zinahitaji watu brave, wenye wako ready kubreak toxic norms, still respectfully.

Hii article sio about blame, neither attacking women. Hai-deny struggles zao.

Hai-generate hate.

Just a call for balance.