Silence is Killing Us Bro. Why Being Heard Changes Everything.

⏳ 3 Minutes Read • Speak Up, Bro !

Photo: Freepik

There's something I keep hearing over and over again as a mental health & wellness blogger. Ni kitu heavy na disturbing as well. Ni ile narrative imekuwa ikiendelea recently ya “whether it's ok to open up, or just bottle up our vulnerabilities.” Whether online or offline, niko sure umeiskia pia.

Look at this. Bro, what's worse?

Expressing your emotions and people using them against you, or bottle them up while dying inside?

Zote zinasound tough, but bottling them up while dying inside ni worse in the long run.

Here’s why:

▪️When you express and get hurt, at least you were honest. Ulijipatia chance to be seen or heard, even if the people around you didn’t handle it right. Uta-learn pia who’s safe and who’s not.

▪️When you bottle it up, inaanza kukumaliza polepole. Most likely utakuwa na stress, anxiety, depression... You lose yourself trying to “be strong.”

Na majamaa, wacheni niwaambie, real strength isn’t silence, it’s knowing when and where to speak up. Hata tukiopen up, ni vizuri tukuwe cautious.

Chagua space yako wisely. Si kila mtu anadeserve access to your emotions.

Lakini wengi wetu, vijanaa, mara nyingi ni heri tukufe na shida zetu kuliko tufunguke.

Na kila saa naona hivo, inauma maze.

Hiyo inaonyesha vile sisi wanaume tumekuwa conditioned kuteseka chini ya maji.

Nimeona na nikaskia maboyz wengi wakiamini that opening up ni "useless."

Ati yaani hata ukiongea, hakuna kitu itachange. Life itakuwa tu the same.

Pain haitadisappear tu magically.

And you know what? There's “some” truth in that. Life doesn't change suddenly ati ju umeongea. Na hapo ndio wengi wetu tumekuwa tukikosea for a very long time.

Opening Up is Never about Getting Help !

Most of us hudhani opening up ni kuhusu kupata solutions.

Advice, plan, or just a way out.

Na ndio maana tunakuwanga na ile most common thought:

“No one can fix my problems, so what's the point.."

But listen to me carefully, bro !

People don’t open up to get help.

People open up to get heared

Ile feeling ya kujua that someone actually gets it.

Ebu imagine mtu akikupea time na attention yake actually; bila haraka, bila pressure. Mtu anakuelewa.

Sitting in front of someone who doesn’t rush you, judge you, ama ku-down play pain yako, bila kuifanya into a joke or lecture. You see !

Most of the time, hatuhitaji answers.

Tunataka tu acknowledgment.

Na hiyo pekee inaweza fanya mwanaume askie akiwa alive.

There's a loneliness we don't usually talk about. Wengi wetu huku nje tunafight silent battles others rarely know about.

Tunasmile kwa job. Tunacheka na fellow bros. Tunapost on social media as if kila kitu iko sawa.

But inside? Ni pure chaos.

Kuna anxiety yenye hata hauwezi explain.

Anger issues hujui zimetoka wapi.

Pressure ya kuwa mwanaume iko all over, even when you're barely holding yourself together.

And the scariest part sio hiyo pain, ni ile belief ati hata ukiongea, hakuna mtu atajali. So we keep quiet, and carry it alone.

Tunajiambia that tuko strong enough to handle it.

Until one day... you're not.

Being Heard Changes Everything

Kuskizwa pekee bila judgment ni therapy in itself. Na sio ile ya social media type.

Wachana na ile ya motivational quotes.

Nasema the real kind.

Haiwezi futa pain, of course. Lakini inapunguza ile uzito.

Scientifically, anytime unasema kitu out loud, kuna venye inatoka kwa kichwa yako.

Like, it stops growing in the dark.

Na itawacha kukuconvince ati uko solo in this world.

Na mtu akikuskiza, yaani ile deep, you feel human again.

Not broken. Not dramatic. Neither weak.

Just human.

Hiyo feeling pekee inatosha kukupeleka one step forward.

“So, I'll Still Have to Deal With My Sh*t ?”

...Yes, Of Course.

Opening up doesn't cancel responsibility.

Na pia haimaanishi hakutakuwa na consequences. Na trauma haitaheal ati ju umeongea. Naah !

Lakini inachange vile unaichukulia.

Badala ya kubeba everything silently, unaibeba na support.

Badala ya kupretend uko poa, unakuwa real, hata kama ni mara moja.

Kitu muhimu sana.

Most of us, majamaa, tumekuwa lost emotionally. Since childhood, tunaambiwa,

“Man up”...“Kuwa strong”...“Feelings are for women”

So tunagrow up kuwa wanaume hawajui kuongea. Hatujui kuomba usaidizi.

Tunaona emotions zikiwa weakness instead of a signal.

Halafu tunashangaa mbona depression, drug abuse, hasira, na suicide zinatokea.

Silence inatumaliza. And we keep calling it strength.

This Is Me Talking To You, Bro !

Photo: Freepik

I'm not writing this from theory. Naandika out of experience, both personal na external.

Nimekuwa that guy mwenye alikanyagia vitu ndani.

Ever since nianze hii journey ya blogging, nimejifunza vitu muhimu sana, along the way.

Tunormalize kuongea. Na pia, tunormalize kuskiza.

We need more than motivational speeches. Tunahitaji safe spaces zenye wanaume tunaweza ongea bila shame.

Mahali silence hakuna hizo narratives za “silence is strength.”

Mahali hakuna pressure.

Kama uko strong enough kubeba pain, then uko strong enough kuiongelea.

Kama uko brave enough kusurvive, then uko brave enough kuwa honest.

We're not weak for having feelings.

Nor soft. Nor broken.

Sisi ni binadamu.

Na kusikizwa… ni healing.